


second place.

by mossyisnotawriter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:20:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29554818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mossyisnotawriter/pseuds/mossyisnotawriter
Summary: Tsukishima Kei realizes he will never win to someone who already won.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Kudos: 30





	second place.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is a tsukikage angst filled fic.

Kageyama Tobio is perfect, in Tsukishima Kei’s eyes.

No matter what, he always seemed so perfect for Tsukishima Kei. And at first Kei thought he was just being insecure. But when he got to spend more time with the boy, he suddenly realizes, it wasn’t insecurity that made him notice Kageyama’s perfection, no, it was his own feelings. And Kei, surprisingly, isn’t someone who denies his own feelings, no, He’s not stubborn unlike his friends. He knows what he feels and accepts it. But He does know how to keep secrets. He knows his own feelings but others don’t know about his, and what’s the thing he always did? Hiding. But when time goes by, he and Tobio gets a little too close, and he can’t help thinking, that maybe, just maybe, Tobio is worth the risk. Or maybe he’s just deluding himself into thinking Tobio will pick him.

But that’s what Maybe’s are for right? It holds an unsure answer. It pushes you only to pull you. It has two possible answer, and it gets you hoping it would be the answer in your favor. But Maybe’s could be just something to tell someone, when you actually don’t want to accept the pain. And when you hear the answer, it makes you wishes it wasn’t just a maybe. It makes you wishes they should’ve said their answer early on. And not make you expect for something that actually isn’t coming.

-

Tobio chose Kei. And Kei was ecstatic. Happy. He never felt like this before. No. He never got picked by someone he likes. And when Tobio did, he went home with the widest smile. And he doesn’t let himself overthink. Overthinking will make him feel worse.

But maybe he should’ve. Maybe he should’ve felt skeptic. Maybe he should’ve questioned himself. Just maybe. Tsukishima Kei isn’t that bad, so why would he get suspicious? He is someone worth to be chosen. Right?

-

“Kei deserves to know, Tobio…he deserves to know!”

Tsukishima frowns upon overhearing a conversation from, which he guesses as Tobio and Yamaguchi. He frowns, and curious as to what was the thing he deserves to know. Regret is when he shouldn’t have let his mouth talk.

“what do I deserve to know, Tadashi?” He asks, curious, his frown never left his forehead. He could see the horror in the eyes of the two. The two stays quiet, and he gets irritated, “What do I have to know?” He repeats a little too loud.

And they gain a little audience, all the eyes of their teammates fixated to the three of them.

“Tadashi?” He asks his best friend, who looks too hesitant to answer. They couldn’t answer him, but he didn’t need to be answered, when he sees it.

Regret. He regrets fooling himself. He regrets being curious, he regrets trying to seek answer. He regrets trying to look for the answer. Because when the answer came, he felt his heart break into million of pieces.

That’s when he notices it, how Tobio never really looked for him, he looked for Hinata. God, he is a fool for thinking Tobio was admiring him. Because Tobio wasn’t admiring the moon in the midst of darkness, no, all Tobio did was trying to get a glimpse of sun behind the moon. Tobio looked at the moon because it was the only way to get a peek of the sun.

“ _oh_ ” He lets out. “ _oh.._ ” He tries not to choke. “ _oh…_ ” He doesn’t want to admit it. He wants to deny the answer that was right infront of him. But Tobio’s eyes never lied.

“You like Hinata.” He says it. He admits it. And he feels worse than ever, cause of course who would want someone like Hinata?

He laughs, he laughs, but everything was humorless, he laughing out the pain. He laughed until no laughter came out and instead tears. He wipes away his tears.

“I’m always gonna be someone’s second choice huh?” He asks, but it didn’t seem like a question. “Why? Why did I let myself believe it? It is so unreal for someone to choose me, isn’t it?”

He turns to Tobio, it was painful to look at him. “Well thanks I guess, thanks for proving to me, that I!, Tsukishima Kei, could never win first place. I could never be someone’s first choice…” Everything went quiet. Tsukishima turns away. Picking his bag up.

“Kei” Tobio calls him, but all it did was shatter what was left of Tsukishima’s unfixable heart. “Kei” He calls one more time.

“No! Tobio, I am tired! I am so tired of being the last option! I am so tired of being the person you’ll only choose whenever you don’t get the options you want!” He pauses, his lips shaking, he composes himself, trying not to choke up. He tries to look at Tobio.

“Is it really impossible to love me?” His voice got so quiet, his tone full of insecurity. “Is it? Tell Me! Is it really hard to choose me, for once?”

Tobio doesn’t answer, and Kei feels more frustrated, he tries to not get close to Tobio. His hands roll into fist.

“Tobio answer me! Because, I can’t just be someone’s back up plan! I can’t always be the plan b or plan c! I don’t want to be just someone’s only option…” Kei gives up when Tobio chooses to stay quiet. He gives up the hope of Tobio denying everything. He takes a deep breath. He turns away “You’ve really done it, Tobio, You made me feel so worthless, congrats!” He turns towards the exit, he pushes away everyone except for Hinata.

He couldn’t bring himself to push away Hinata. Hinata had always been so kind to him. “There’s no doubt why he likes you, Sho…, and there’s no doubt that you like him too…” He pauses, forcing a smile for Hinata

“I guess I’m the villain in your story…”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading (?),, Hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
